Deeper Cravings

You are not your body. You have a body, you use a body, you care for a body, you are entrusted with a body but you ARE not your body.

This time of year the messages are everywhere to buy in to the “New Year, New You” fervour to change, control and perfect your body. The implicit message is that you ARE a body. That your very worth and value on the planet is tied to you (finally) succeeding at the never-ending body project. By now it is possible that many of you who have engaged a body project have already hit a moment of “failure” where you felt frustrated that your will power or personal determination let you down (again).

You have not failed it. It has failed you. There is no getting this right you see because the entire premise of the promise is flawed. You are not your body. You are the magnificent spark of Light that inhabits your body. You are the soul within. Always whole. Never lacking. Nothing about your physical exterior (not the reflection in the mirror, the number on the scale, the size of the clothing, nor the age at your next birthday) can add to, nor detract from that wholeness. There is no winning the body project if the unconscious goal is to somehow power over your body to improve your overall worth or merit as a human being.

When I began walking my Deeper Cravings Path almost fourteen years ago I had come to the life changing conclusion that I could be thin or I could be free but could not be both if I continued with the near constant daily obsession with my weight and the never ending body project. I had lost weight. I had gained weight. I had lost weight again and the mistake of thinking that it somehow made any difference at all to my overall value and wholeness (either way) left me empty every time. I had to find a different way. I had to make total self love and total repair with and trust in my body my ultimate goal.

Since jumping off the diet train and moving into full and total unconditional embrace of my body I have had to learn this lesson again and again and again. It has not been a straight road nor an easy one. The message that my worth is directly tied to my body is everywhere in our culture and creeps in like an insidious worm. The temptation to conform to what the proverbial ‘they’ want my body to look like makes its way in. When I am in low and vulnerable moments, the middle school me can tell me stories about the conditions that will be required to be of value, to be liked, to be taken seriously. She even tells me the story that I have to be perfect at intuitive and mindful eating and body love to have the authority to type these words.

Then there is the fact that life happens, traumas happen, relationship crisis happens, health issues arise rendering it impossible to ‘listen to our bodies’ and go for a run, the natural (and beautiful) aging process happens, global pandemics happen. Life throws us twists and turns and staying conscious and present enough to listen to our body 100% of the time to eat intuitively becomes hard and sometimes the school aged me needs to numb like she did back then because in that moment it’s really the best shot she’s got for making it through.

Even still, this does not, can not, change the truth…I was born to shine. You were born to shine. We were all, in every size, in every body, born to shine. We were born to let that incredible Light that is within us be as bright as it can possibly be.

In my case, I know that the only path with my body that does not dim my Light is a path of peace. It is a path of sweet reverence for my body and gratitude for every moment it has brought me to. It is knowing that every pound, every leg dimple, every wrinkle, every roll is not something to be ashamed of as a marker against my worthiness. Rather it is something to be loved and protected from the cruelty of the world (and the cruelty that can creep up in my own mind when I am not conscious).

We are not our body but we have a body; a body worth protecting, treasuring, and respecting. It is worth finding the path back to sweet relationship with the body so that we can live as vitally from within the body as we possibly can. So that we can live out the truth of who we are. We are the beautiful unstoppable Light within and no external condition can dim that light. If that Light gets hidden from us (and thereby the world) it is simply because we forgot the truth of who we are. Shine on precious ones. Shine on in whatever form your beautiful body is taking today.

Top photo Credit: Free Stock photos by Vecteezy . Bottom photo credit: My husband Johnny following a cold plunge in the Pacific ocean on Jan 10/2024