Is it ‘self-care’ or is it ‘selfish’ ?



photograph courtesy of Megan Hooks Photography

Earlier this year I found myself in the middle of a delicious unexpected “me-time” opportunity, I was in my office when I had a couple of last minute client cancellations in a row, in the back of my mind I had remembered that just a couple of blocks away a woman was giving an art journaling class at that exact same time. I quickly grabbed my keys and purse and headed into the unknown.

I am not an artist but I have definitely experienced the utter transcendence that happens when I can get lost in a creative process. I have been craving to carve out time to play with art supplies on a regular basis for many years. There I was, unexpectedly amongst a group of creative women, allowing my soul to speak to me through the paint, magazine clippings, glue sticks, watercolor pens and scissors.

.It was so incredibly nourishing! All I could think was why have I not been doing this sooner? Oh I know why… I’m a mom with two school-age children, I am running a busy private practice, I volunteer at my kids school one full day a week, I am just barely scraping together enough time to keep my household running….going to spend an afternoon to play with art supplies does not produce anything for anyone else, it doesn’t accomplish anything specific toward a shared goal that I have with my partner, it doesn’t contribute in a direct way to my community… And so it (and therefore I) will fall to the bottom of the list.

I’m not alone, I encounter women all the time in my therapy practice who have difficulty investing time or energy in themselves because they have old tapes playing from their childhood that tell them that focusing on themselves is selfish.

We struggle with prioritizing our needs especially when they bump up against the wishes of our loved ones “Mom I really don’t feel like going to the childcare center at the gym, can’t you miss yoga today”

B0833D8C-420B-4FCD-9ACA-CC2EDACA388ESo what became of my new found art passion? Not only am I continuing to play with art on a regular basis but I have invited other women to do so along with me. Women need to recharge, we need to take care of ourselves, we need to connect with one another and we need an opportunity to quiet the noise of our lives so that we can listen to the whisper of our soul. I am now leading art and mindfulness day retreats for women in the Seattle area on a regular basis, just last month I gathered together 12 amazing women for a shared day of mindfulness, meditation, soulful connection, and fabulous playful art creation. It was so delicious! (You can check out the photos of our day here)

It doesn’t need to be an art or meditation retreat, maybe for you self-care is singing wild karaoke or barreling down a mountain on a pair of skis, whatever it is, it is just ever so important that we begin and begin now!

I was recently interviewed on the subject by my local business association and it gave me more time to contemplate.  (Click here to read that article :


Join Me for the next Release™️ Women’s Art/Meditation Retreat.


It is like a spa day for your Soul!

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