A cornerstone in my broken relationship with my body was to obsessively compare my body to the bodies of others and extrapolate all kinds of false stories on whatever observation I held. For example, if I compared myself to someone who I perceived to have a “better” body, I would determine that they must be happier, more together, more in control etc. The reverse scenario also existed of feeling a false sense of advantage and making unfounded assumptions about another’s pain based on the shape of their body.
When we are present we have no desire or compulsion to judge, only to notice. We feel an incredible sense of unity with others. We don’t have to be triggered by another’s weight loss. That broken part of us doesn’t need to react by feeling left behind or that the other’s physical success somehow punctuates what we perceive to be our failure in the same area. When we come home to ourselves through the practices of mindfulness and meditation we are fully and authentically happy for others. In the Deeper Cravings program we learn that being connected to our Divine essence; the wisdom at the core of us, through presence allows us to know good and celebrate it.
In presence we can come to view bodies, in general, to be beautiful: different forms, different sizes but the same beautiful pulsing life energy in all. We come to feel a sense of sisterhood with all other women struggling with loving their body, not only women with bodies like our own. We don’t need to draw the dividing lines between fat women’s body issues and thin women’s body issues. When someone is not at home in their body the actual size of that body is irrelevant. It is the same problem is at the core of the issue: disconnection. Presence gives birth to compassion and unity. Our deepest self realizes that we are strands of the same web and we are suffering needlessly.
Thank you so much for posting. It took much time and energy to find self acceptance of my ‘visible to the eye’ flaws…your post definitely resonates. thank you
Thank you Shantelle and congratulations on your journey. With Kindness, Peggy