Tagged with self-compassion

The Comparison Trap

The Comparison Trap

 “She is so amazing, articulate, beautiful, thin, accomplished, confident” with every recognition of beauty in that person, that object of our envy, we sink further and further in to self doubt and inner criticism. I call these experiences our toxic comparisons. In my body loathing days I was filled with them – daily. All around … Continue reading

A Guest House for Grief

A Guest House for Grief

Just under four weeks ago the man who loved me first and loved me longest left. At the age of 80, my father, (who had walked 5 miles 10 days prior) died in hospital due to complications from what was supposed to be a rather simple surgery. For years in my early career I  counseled people through … Continue reading

The Candy Haunting of a Compulsive Eater

The Candy Haunting of a Compulsive Eater

I remember the rush of excitement as the cascade of shiny color spilled out of my pillowcase sack on to my bedroom floor. I would methodically separate the loot into its categorical piles: chocolate, suckers, hard candies, chewy cadies, chips, gum and then the miscellaneous pile of disappointment that usually included a toothbrush (we had a … Continue reading

A New ‘KIND’ of New Year’s Resolution

A New ‘KIND’ of New Year’s Resolution

Somehow we instinctively get it with our children, our staff, our students and anyone else were trying to motivate. And yet when it comes to ourselves; the concept of how to truly motivate ourselves to live as we truly want to seems to allude us. For years I somehow believed that by being extremely harsh … Continue reading

Sinking in Sadness, Swimming in Self-Compassion

Sinking in Sadness, Swimming in Self-Compassion

You’ve most likely heard of a P.D.A. (public display of affection) but have you heard of a P.D.S.? I found myself experiencing one last week unexpectedly at a YMCA during an aquafit class. P-D-S: Public Display of Sadness. There I was in the middle of a pool with happy, chatting, splashing Seniors when a huge … Continue reading

The More You Crave, The More You Crave

The More You Crave, The More You Crave

There is a common expression in therapy circles “what you resist persists” and never have I found that more true than in the realm of food. This is why, for me, dieting is so dangerous and so ineffective. The constant restriction keeps us locked in a constant battle with the object of our obsession…food. We move between periods … Continue reading

Swallowing Boredom

Swallowing Boredom

It’s an itchy sensation…boredom. We don’t like it, we resist it, we want more, we feel we deserve MORE…sometimes this leads, quite frankly, to more in the way of calories…calories our body isn’t asking for in the moment…but there can be something very powerful about learning to allow ourselves to sit with the experience of boredom … Continue reading