The Candy Haunting of a Compulsive Eater

The Candy Haunting of a Compulsive Eater

I remember the rush of excitement as the cascade of shiny color spilled out of my pillowcase sack on to my bedroom floor. I would methodically separate the loot into its categorical piles: chocolate, suckers, hard candies, chewy cadies, chips, gum and then the miscellaneous pile of disappointment that usually included a toothbrush (we had a … Continue reading

The Kindergarten Metaphor

The Kindergarten Metaphor

I sent my baby boy off to kindergarten today. Never before had I truly understood the significance of this day for parents. The tears I shed today are about far more than the fact that I will no longer have him home with me during the day; rather it marks the first in many moments … Continue reading

A Rendezvous with God

A Rendezvous with God

It was a watershed moment on the beach years ago when I realized that living in constant misery about the shape of my body was, in fact, far worse and life depleting than any number on the scale ever could be. It was a flash of insight when it became clear that I would continue … Continue reading

Seen and Known and Loved

Seen and Known and Loved

To be seen and known and loved, I’m  learning lately how these truly are my Deepest Cravings. What was buried behind years of body shame, diet obsession and compulsive eating was a hunger for authentic living and authentic human connection. I’ve been exploring for myself all the ways I became skillful at blocking myself from attaining … Continue reading

Tight Pants

Tight Pants

She lives within. That tiny, sometimes scared, sometimes hurt little girl. When she arrives she demands to be seen. She wants the world to stop and to be noticed, to be held. She reaches to be soothed in the old familiar ways, thus a return of some of the old patterns. You know the ones; … Continue reading

Thin – Pretty – Nice

Thin – Pretty – Nice

“Thin”, “Pretty”, “Nice”. According to Brene Brown these are the 3 adjectives that top the list when research participants are asked to describe what makes for a  feminine woman.  As a young overweight child I was pretty convinced that I couldn’t ever attain the attribute of ‘thin’, and as I watched Charlie’s Angels and played … Continue reading

A New ‘KIND’ of New Year’s Resolution

A New ‘KIND’ of New Year’s Resolution

Somehow we instinctively get it with our children, our staff, our students and anyone else were trying to motivate. And yet when it comes to ourselves; the concept of how to truly motivate ourselves to live as we truly want to seems to allude us. For years I somehow believed that by being extremely harsh … Continue reading

What else is lost in the ‘Biggest Loser’?

What else is lost in the ‘Biggest Loser’?

I’ve been hearing about ‘Biggest Loser’ competitions, inspired by the popular reality show, popping up all over the place, at fitness centers, schools and workplaces and I can’t help but think that these competitions offered under the guise of motivation and support just take us another step away from what most of us really crave; … Continue reading

Sinking in Sadness, Swimming in Self-Compassion

Sinking in Sadness, Swimming in Self-Compassion

You’ve most likely heard of a P.D.A. (public display of affection) but have you heard of a P.D.S.? I found myself experiencing one last week unexpectedly at a YMCA during an aquafit class. P-D-S: Public Display of Sadness. There I was in the middle of a pool with happy, chatting, splashing Seniors when a huge … Continue reading

The More You Crave, The More You Crave

The More You Crave, The More You Crave

There is a common expression in therapy circles “what you resist persists” and never have I found that more true than in the realm of food. This is why, for me, dieting is so dangerous and so ineffective. The constant restriction keeps us locked in a constant battle with the object of our obsession…food. We move between periods … Continue reading